>> GAMES > GAMING CULTURE

Giving Back...

Yea, I made a terrible copy of Batman as my first Dungeons and Dragons character, what's it matter to you?! Okay, I should probably back up. It was the summer of 1987. I had yet to enter the terribly awkward teenage years (though through a cruel act of genetics, I was well into puberty). High School was still a distant horror I'd yet to imagine. Hell, I was barely able to comprehend the terrors of Jr. High. However, what I did already know was my inability to enjoy the activities of the so-called "normal kids". That's not to say that I didn't enjoy the occasional game of football in the backyard. Even if it did cause my mother all kinds of conflicting thoughts. Her son was playing outside and getting some much-needed exercise; but I also decided that her beloved flower garden made the ideal End Zone. Alas, my less than frequent forays into backyard sports not withstanding, I wasn't much into anything that involved people. It wasn't from the typical girls with cooties fear or fear of the bigger boys in my neighborhood. (Yes, even hitting the fantastically awful body changing time years ahead of my neighbors did nothing to improve my relative size). I was simply happier to sit in my bedroom and create vast worlds out of my various Lego sets into the early evening hours... At which time I would either read or write into the wee hours of the morning. In fact, the more I look back; I have to wonder how I ever found social contact, let alone maintain friendships that survive even to this day.

Enter Dungeons and Dragons.

Honest. All of my lifelong friends came from those musty books and funky shaped dice. Like I said, it was the summer of 1987 and I was sitting in a small playhouse in my friend’s backyard. My hands, starting to prune from hours of sweaty Super Mario Bros. playing. At that moment, my friends older cousin entered the playhouse. He asked if we ever played this "D'n D game?" as he produced a battered hardback book from his backpack. (I know, looking back through jaded and suspicious eyes, this sounds creepy... Trust me, it wasn't. This guy couldn't hurt a fly even if he tried). I shrugged, never once removing my attention from the pixilated glow of my friend’s NES. He passed by, taking care not to disrupt my game. He sat at the small table in the playhouse and took more books out of his backpack. My friend joined him. I continued to play. Finally, the cousin spoke again, "Hey, Aaron, you like fantasy and stuff, right?" I hit pause, it was clear he wasn't going to leave me in peace and the sooner I answered all his questions, the better. Anyway, my hands were beginning to cramp from endless attempts at finding that negative swimming level. (You all know what I am talking about). I replied that I did and sat at the table as well. With a grin, he handed me a sheet of paper with all forms of grids and lines and tables and slashes. "Cool, I think you'll like this then".

Then, I made Batman.

Well, I made the closet thing to Batman within the confines of the original Advanced Dungeons & Dragons rules. He was an exiled human prince from a distant land. At a very young age, this prince watched his mother and father cut down by a mysterious figure... Hiding on the streets with only a family emblem to remind him of his parents, he vowed to take revenge on those who destroyed all he held dear. Then, with the help of an extremely inexperienced DM, I found ever single magical item that had the word "bat" in it, got myself this flying sword that always came back (I'd just watched Krull), some wicked bracelets that deflected arrows (even then, I loved Wonder Woman). Then, with a quickly penned character history, I strove off to defend the helpless and punish the wicked as the scourge of the medieval night as... Nightwing! Yes, please begin your laughter and taunting now. I'll wait... Finished...? No? I understand.

Okay, before you even ask. Yes, I knew about the DC Comics character with the same name. Already a voracious reader of the Dark Knight and all his allies, I was betting the folks in this playhouse were not. They weren't, and the well meaning if wholly inexperience DM praised my imaginative character development! Ha! I wish I could tell you that first adventure was of a grand scale. It wasn't. In fact, we didn't even get out of the tried and true tavern meeting before my friends mom entered the playhouse and promptly began to rain hellfire upon our DM for exposing us to the work of the devil. He left. She yelled at us. I went back to Mario.

But it was too late. Somewhere within me, I saw the potential for countless tales.

Sadly, it would take me a couple more years before I could sit at the gaming table with other like-minded gamers. Any gamers for that matter. There was a certain slice of society that conducted an effective war against all things D&D. While some people recant tales of elders speaking to the evils of Heavy Metal, I had the anti-TSR group working against me. TSR, the one-time owners of Dungeons & Dragons, were clearly in league with darker powers. If not, why would their name stand for To Satan's Realm? (Yes, these were the same folks who believe KISS meant Knight In Satan's Service). Sadly, the people who kept those funky shaped dice out of would be gamers hands had sensationalized headlines to make their case. Some poor soul had committed suicide at Michigan State University and when they examined his life, they did find a massive collection of D&D books. Even though he was thought to be a closeted homosexual in an extremely intolerant household where he suffered severe psychological abuse had nothing to do with his death. Nor could is chronic depression and delves into custom manufactured drugs drive him to suicide. (Noted from The Disappearance of Dallas Egbert, link to source). Nope. It was all them devil games that drove him to kill himself. In no way could D&D been his only real escape from a terrible reality. . Besides, Tom Hanks made a crappy T. V. movie out of it; it simply had to be true.

Like those all female dinosaurs on Jurassic Park however, a gamer will find a way.

Find a way I did. Most kids deceive their parents so they can stay out and party all weekend, or perhaps catch that concert in another town, or even date the dreaded "older boyfriend". Not me. Nope, this author lied to his folks so he could not party all weekend. So he could not catch that out of towner. And, so he could not date that college boyfriend (or, you know, girlfriend as was my case). No, I lied so I could sit in my friend’s garage and play out fantasy adventures with other like-minded friends. And, as pathetic as a Friday night surrounded by dice and empty pizza boxes might sound to you, it was a little bit of heaven for a Geek like me. Each one of us at that table was telling our own hero journey. It didn't matter what our individual backgrounds were. At that moment, at that gaming table we were all equals. We were all taking part in the same grand story. Sure, maybe I'm being a tad bit maudlin in with my memories, but that is what memories are for. At least, the good ones. That is what D&D and gaming as a whole is to me. A series of good memories. Memories forever in the making. Some of the youthful excitement of my early gaming days may be gone, but the magic remains. The stories remain. Although there are those who will laugh, I can honestly say that D&D and other RPGs helped me claw my way out of my hometown. It inspired me to seek out adventure.

Not that I believed I was going to slay any Dragons.*

However, it did continue to feed my voracious imagination. As I grew older, I started to look beyond the pure pleasure element of gaming and into the business side of it. Someone had to write those books. Someone had to design those rules. Someone had to draw those sexy chainmail bikinis babes! Contrary to what a misguided teacher may have told me, the folks who worked in and wrote my favorite games had to be fans. Why else would they have picked up the pencil to begin with? If they just liked fantasy, why go through all the trouble (and math) to create a set of rules and charts to play in their fantasy world. Trust me, as one who has made many attempts at my own original set of game mechanics. No one makes the choice to design a game lightly. There is some serious work involved. Which pretty much brings us to the now. See, I owe a great deal to D&D and all Role Playing Games. They gave me another world to play in. They helped me to create my own worlds. They helped me find friends when I didn't think I would ever fit in. They helped me find new friends whenever I was in a strange and new environment. They even gave me the chance to do what I've always dreamed of doing... Inspiring someone else. Giving back to an industry that has given so much to me...

Just what do I plan to give?

Well, you're just going to have to wait... 'Cause like all great stories, this one ends in a cliffhanger...

*I did find a fair princess. What? Come on! A Geek can get mushy over something that does not involve a Vulcan first officer dying!