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Like the Mafia, But With Less Killing

There have been literally dozens of articles written about the very topic I am about to touch upon. It is also just as likely that I will come across as a Johnny come-lately hack for writing this article... Well, too bad, it simply needs to be written. However, my version will have a little twist. For you see, my return to La Cosa Mag’stra is not a solo trip. Yup, you read right... Like Pacino in (ugh) The Godfather III, I have been sucked back into playing (and collecting) Magic: The Gathering.

I was free for over 10 years...

As I am want to do, I feel I need to take you fine readers with me as I slingshot around the sun. Still in high school, my fellow Geeks and I read about this new game that promised to "change the face of RPGs"... Always looking for a new way to spend time in a dank room with sweaty Geeks, we jumped on it. Pooling our funds, we all pitched in and bought a display box of Magic: The Gathering starters. Now, at this time, ‘ol Wizards of the Coast was not the juggernaut you kids know them to be... Oh no, this was 1993 and the company was barely being kept alive by a little board game known as RoboRally. To those who are wondering, yes, we rural Geeks owned a grip of what became known as "Alpha Cards". (And no, we were NOT smart enough to keep them in any decent condition...Hell; I don't know what happened to any of them. Save my Alpha Serra Angel, but that is for another story). Anyway... We played and it was good.

Then. Something. Happened.

See, gamers, whether they want to admit it or not, are an easily addicted lot. This is even more so when said Geeks live in a town that offers few entertainment options. At least for those who don't enjoy hunting and fishing. ( We Geeks may love guns and things that go boom, but, we don't like going outside... See the problem)? Years of sugar, salt and caffeine as their primary source of sustenance breaks down a Geek’s innate willpower. We pretty much walk around with a permanent -10 to our Fortitude Save! That being said, my fellow scholastic Geeks and myself began spending less and less time on conventional RPGs and the books involved; while dumping more and more time and money into Magic cards... A move we justified since Magic boosters at the time only cost $2.95. (Look at me age myself there). However, when you are buying upwards of 10 - 15 boosters a week... Said justification goes right out the window! This continued. For years! Literally. YEARS! It wasn't until I realized that my monthly Magic budget was equal to my car payment that I had, as alcoholics are known to claim, a moment of clarity.

Holy Hell!

It was then I did what I couldn't do with coffee and porn comics. I quit cold turkey. I sold off all my loose cards. I only kept the above Serra Angel, a deck I nicknamed "Gandhi" (because it had nary an offensive card), and the ultra rare Ali from Cairo card from the Arabian Nights expansion set. It was a gift from my friend, who was serving his second year in the Navy. (A card I still have, thank you very much).

My still addicted friends thought me insane, a fool. They taunted. They teased. They even threatened... It was like leaving a really pasty and pathetic version of The Jets. Anyway, I took a deep breath and never returned to Magic: The Gathering. I even began to attack the very game that I had embraced years past. This wasn't the Magic I knew and loved. Oh no. The tools at Wizards of the Coast added far too many options that, in my narrow opinion, made the game simplistic. Any ‘ol fool could buy a deck or two and made a tournament killer. There. My justification firmly in place, life moved on... But, sometimes I wondered... Sometimes I'd feel the itch... Sometimes I'd see a shiny new booster from an expansion I knew nothing about... I'd read about interesting card abilities. However, I remained strong.

Until Thanksgiving, 2006.

See, many old friends had come back into my life and for that, I shall be eternally grateful. Even if they caused me to shatter my 10-year resolve against Magic: The Gathering! All it took was one game... One simply game... And there I was. Back at my neighborhood gaming store dropping what little spare funds I have on those shiny little foil packs. And, like the once-dry alcoholic who tastes his first whiskey in years, I took in the sight and scent of the cards and I was hooked all over again. Yes, the scent. Ask any Magic player; they will tell you that nothing smells like a freshly opened pack of Magic cards. I know it sounds creepy, but it is the truth... (And creepy). Although I'm not sure these packs age like wine, in fact, I'm willing to bet they get a tad musty. Not that it matters, no player would ever let a pack of cards sit unopened for so long as to alter their sweet, sweet aroma. Only a few months have passed since I fell off the wagon> Since I laid out 20 life tokens and began tossing the spells with my fellow Magic Geeks. However, this time something is different...

Not going alone.

Oh no. If I am going to get sucked back into that world of Tapping, Mana, and Summoning Sickness I was not going alone. Pitching the game as an exercise in strategy and logic (which it is), I knew the lovely Jenn would not be able to resist the lure of the penta-colored game. Although I did suspect she would be stronger in her resolve to not blow the rent check on Magic cards. (Which, thankfully, she is). Foolishly, what I didn't see was the lovely Jenn’s capacity for playing field dominance. You see, ask any veteran Magic player and they will tell you that most players learn to build creature and/or basher decks before moving on to the more manipulative and subtly styled decks. If they would have assumed that with my fantastic wife they would, like me, be wrong. Oh no. Her quick grasping of the subtle rules (and bending of said rules) within the realm of Magic has made me wonder if I've made a terrible mistake, GOB style. One would think that I would remember the Star Wars Miniatures pounding she gave me a year ago... Although I suppose there are worse things that I could complain about...

Hope you're proud Wizards of the Coast... You snared a new fan and forced a once dry Geek to drink from Urza’s Well all over again...

At least I'm going alone this time.