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Sticking to the Code

Most people know of the Code of Men. Its very similar to the Code of Vegas, but not limited by geography. To those who do not know of such code, its fairly simple:

1 - Bros. before hoes.
2 - No Pooftahs! (Not really a part of the code, but I couldn’t let an easy Python joke slip by).
3 - Men do not date and/or shtoop a bros. ex until given permission (even then, add 6 months).
4 - No statements or questions which may get your bro. in trouble with their other half.
5 - Seriously, bros. before hoes.
6 - There is noooooooo rule 6. (Sorry, sorry, I promise, no more Monty Python jokes).

Pretty simple right?

The code works well for most men. However, these is a smaller lesser known set of codes that can, at times, bump heads with the Code of Men. What is this mythical code that can make dudes question their loyalty? What could possibly cause a dude to get his bro. in trouble with his lady?

The Code of the Gamer.

Stop laughing and snickering, this is serious business dammit! The Code of the Gamer is serious. It goes like this:

1 - What happens at the table stays at the table.
2 - A gamer may cancel if they have a shot at hot love (this only applies to those under 30, over 30, it’s too late for you, just game).
3 - Only 1 health food item per gaming session.
4 - No physical violence unless the target person is a Rules Lawyer.
5 - Greedo NEVER shoots first!
6 - Absent gamers must be tracked down.

Now, can you see where this is going? Can you see how some of the rules in the Code of the Gamer can directly clash with the Code of Men? What is a male Geek to do? ( I know, I know, there are a few girl gamers, but your codes and rules are foreign and unknown to me. Much like the Great Cthulhu).

A few weeks ago, your friendly neighborhood Geek was sitting calmly behind the all powerful DM screen waiting to cause player carnage. The game was all ready to go. Evil was running rampant. Heroes needed to save the day. There was pathos, ethos, mythos, and Doritos!

There was also a missing player.

This was beyond the normal time frame allowed for late players. This was the serious kind of lateness. The kind of lateness where a DM begins asking the players to put away their funky dice and pop open the Sledge Hammer Season 2 box set. We made many more phone calls to all the places he may be. Nothing. Then a fellow gamer made a suggestion... Call his wife.

Damn. This clearly violates the Code of Men. I stated boldly that we couldn’t violate the Code. Said gamer told me that the Code of the Gamer supersedes the Code of Men. My mind reeled! Nothing was stronger then the Code of Men! Other players began to chime in. They agreed, we needed to call the missing gamers wife.

What was this madness?!

I would have no part in this. I would not violate the Code of Men! If it meant turning in my gamer card... So be it... History would vindicate me!

Thankfully, as the phone was being dialed there was a knock at the door... In walked the missing gamer. The Code of Men was safe...

This time.