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MOVIE REVIEWS
Friday Mar 25, 2005
Lucas killing my childhood softly Aaron Duran
You notice that every time I claim to not fall behind anymore on my ramblings, I then promptly fall behind? I then start said post slacking rant with the claim that life has been hectic for your friendly neighborhood Geek… Then, like a student trying to increase his word count...
Tuesday Apr 29, 2003
Inspiring Horror Flicks Aaron Duran
With my birthday only a few days past I look upon all the great swag I received from my ever so thoughtful friends. They know me well as I look upon stacks and piles of books and horror DVD's. Seeing these movies reminded me of the films that inspire me...
Sunday Mar 28, 2004
Jersey Girl Aaron Duran
GROWING UP ISN’T THAT BAD… I GUESS. Well crap, I’ve only been at this thing for a couple of months now and I’ve already broken my rule of adding new crap every 48 hours. Give me a break people, your friendly neighborhood Geek was feeling a tad under the weather....
Friday Apr 16, 2004
The Punisher Aaron Duran
This is what happens when you stray too far… It would be too easy for me to spout off how much I hated The Punisher and everyone involved in this steaming pile. To be fair, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (soon to be Rebecca Romijn-Duran, oh yea), is quite good. Granted her role...
Friday Aug 13, 2004
AvP Aaron Duran
I found myself bouncing back and forth between two people as I watched the newest film from Paul WS Anderson. The person who can watch a film with a critical eye and knows what to look for in a film; and, the big ‘ol fanboy who has waited more then...
Tuesday Sep 14, 2004
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Aaron Duran
The line around the theater was easily two hundred yards long. There was no way that all these people were going to make it in to see the screening of this Geeks most anticipated film of the year: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow! But it didn’t seem to...
Thursday Oct 7, 2004
Saw Aaron Duran
Last night I caught a screening of Saw at the Fox Tower. I always have mixed feelings when I go to these screenings. As a big movie Geek, I am thrilled to be catching a movie early (and let’s be honest, free), but the majority of the people that attend...
Wednesday Mar 30, 2005
Sin City Aaron Duran
This may prove to be one of the most difficult movies to review. Not because I didn’t enjoy it, far from it as I found the movie to be completely amazing. No, Sin City will be difficult to review for the simple reason that it is the ugliest beautiful film...
Thursday May 19, 2005
Revenge of the Sith - Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Finally. The painfully asinine “The 20” had come to an end, the trailers had finished running. The theater was dark and silent for the longest 3 seconds of all time. Then it happened, the Fox Fanfare that we are all so familiar with rolled as the logo lit the room....
Wednesday Jun 15, 2005
Batman Begins - Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
It is confession time. For all my claims that Episode III was the film I was most excited for, I must now admit that I wasn’t being entirely honest with you fine readers. If you looked deep down into the fanboy soul of your friendly neighborhood Geek, you would see...
Tuesday Jun 28, 2005
Land of the Dead - Spoiler Free Derek M. Koch
I'd say the zombies are back, but George A. Romero's Land of the Dead immediately thrusts its audience into a reality in which the zombies never left. For just under two hours, Romero brings us back to his world, his vision, his Land in which the dead walk, and I...
Wednesday Jul 20, 2005
The Devil’s Rejects – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
In much the same way that Desperado is a pseudo-sequel to El Mariachi, Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects is a loose sequel to House of a 1,000 Corpses. Like Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects has a harsh and gritty style no longer scene in modern cinema, particularly in this modern era...
Saturday Jul 30, 2005
Murderball Illusionaire
Rivalry. Sex. Tension. Action. Triumph. Humor. Murderball is a wildly entertaining movie roller coaster ride through the lives of men who’ve been to hell and back. After becoming quadriplegic through vehicle accidents, childhood diseases, or fist fights, these guys overcame their limitations to become strong, tough-willed, world-class athletes. The game...
Sunday Nov 6, 2005
Mirrormask - Spoiler Free Review Prime
Waiting for the powers that be to allow truly creative works through the seams of Hollywood can be an exasperating process. Even then, the public does not often allow the truly beautiful outside of the independent theater or those that “art it up” with the foreign film. Here is...
Thursday Mar 9, 2006
Night Watch - Review - Spoilers Diana from DT
All That Stands Between Light And Darkness Is The Night Watch. (Russian Language with English Subtitles) I had the opportunity to see this film during a sneak preview - and I was most intrigued - a Russian fantasy/horror-thriller. As the resident Russian linguist, I had to go to see...
Friday Mar 17, 2006
How William Shatner Changed the World Ersogoth
For many Geeks, William Shatner is the iconic space hero. His exploits on the starship Enterprise generated a huge following in the late 1960s. The loyal fan base was much more than just a bunch of groupies - some of them, after being influenced by the show, grew up to...
Friday Mar 31, 2006
Slither - Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Slither. "What Ever You Do… Don't Scream" 2006 - Universal Pictures Written by - James Gunn Directed by - James Gunn Starring - Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker, Gregg Henry 96 Minutes Rated R Opens nationwide - March 31, 2006 Although we have never met, James Gunn and...
Thursday Apr 6, 2006
The World's Fastest Indian Aaron Duran
Before I delve into this review, I should probably admit to something that will, no doubt, taint my unbiased review of The World's Fastest Indian. I love movies about stubborn old men, love them. I don't know why, perhaps because that is the type of old man I want to...
Friday May 12, 2006
Poseidon – Review of a Re-Imagining Aaron Duran
"Iceberg, right ahead"! Oh... Wait, wrong flick. While I am not the biggest fan of Titanic, I will admit that I enjoyed the Cameron tear-fest film more then I did the latest from the director from the sea, Wolfgang Peterson. On paper, this film should have been great. Sure,...
Friday Jun 2, 2006
The Omen Remake Aaron Duran
Spoiler Filled! Okay, so everyone knows but your friendly neighborhood Geek prides himself on spoiler free reviews. Not so much this time. Besides, this is a friggen remake, so anyone who cries foul will be beaten. Or worse, forced to watch this demonic pile over and over again… The...
Thursday Jun 29, 2006
Superman Returns – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Of course the world needs a Superman. The last son of Krypton inspires us in ways that no political speech or flag waving can. More than an alien in blue tights, Superman is our inner aspirations brought to life. He is our dreams. He is our hopes. And yes, he...
Sunday Jul 2, 2006
Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man’s Chest - Some Spoilers Aaron Duran
I was one of the earliest believers in the first Pirates of the Caribbean. I can remember hopping giddily in my chair within the Geek Tower at the early visuals. Undead pirates that walked underwater. A Phantom ship crewed by the dammned. Hell, this was all my D&D and Harryhausen...
Wednesday Jul 26, 2006
Miami Vice – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Before I delve into this review, I feel like I should come clean on something. Now, you need to promise you won't pounce on your friendly neighborhood Geek when you learn this. (Unless your skin is painted green and/or clad in a Gold Bikini and you have an un-healthy obsession...
Sunday Aug 20, 2006
Snakes on a Plane Spoiler Free Review Illusionaire
The title leaves nothing to the imagination, so it is impossible for me to write a completely spoiler-free review. The movie supplies exactly as advertised: Snakes on a Plane. As far as I’m concerned, this is perfect B-movie schlock. It was easily the best time I have ever had in...
Thursday Aug 31, 2006
Hollywoodland – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Although the mystery and events behind the death of Marilyn Monroe gets all the attention, it is the tragic suicide of George Reeves three years prior that many conspiracy analysts see as the first great Hollywood mystery. Hollywoodland attempts to shed more light on the events that led to George...
Friday Sep 15, 2006
The Black Dahlia - Spoiler Free Review Scott Dally
The Black Dahlia is one of the 20th Century's most famous unsolved murders in the United States. Young struggling actress, Elizabeth Short's body was discovered mutilated, cut in half. To this day the case is still unsolved. There are many speculations but nothing has come to fruition about this mystery...
Wednesday Dec 13, 2006
Eragon - Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
From what I can tell, Eragon is one of many a fantasy based series that got the green light once the Harry Potter juggernaught began rolling in the cash. Not that I have a problem with that. The fantasy genre, particularly within the “young adult” section, needed a serious shot...
Friday Feb 9, 2007
Amazing Grace – Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Period pieces generally aren't my cup of tea. I don't like them, nor do I dislike them; they simply fail to register on my radar. Well, now that I think about it... I do openly dislike them, though not for any logical reason. I think it comes from my time...
Tuesday Feb 20, 2007
The Number 23 - Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Let me admit to something now. My years spent working with Ground Zero Media has given me an altered perspective on the suggestive powers of numbers. You spend enough time with cases revolving around Numerology and symbolism and you do indeed start to see patterns. How you interpret these patterns...
Tuesday Mar 6, 2007
300 – Sort of Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Since I am already beginning to hear people talk about the political overtones regarding Snyder’s newest film, 300, I thought I would put in my two cents and then move onto the review and never touch upon it again… I 100% agree with Zach Snyder; who set out to craft...
Monday Mar 26, 2007
TMNT - Spoiler Free KaraokeFanboy
Anyone wonder when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles turned into the KFC of the pop culture world? TMNT? Okay, that was a poor comment... On with someone who makes good comments, KF of A Comic A Day - AD When the twenty-something-year-old guy stood up in the back of the theater...
Wednesday Apr 4, 2007
Grindhouse – Sloppy, Juicy, Vulgar, and Spoiler Filled Review! Aaron Duran
Look, I'm just gonna' tell you now… This review is going to spurt spoilers. It is going spurt them like so many puss-filled alien zombies that want to infect you in the friggen eye. This is also the last time I use a word like friggen, cause this is a...
Wednesday Apr 25, 2007
The Running Man, Battle Royale, The Condemned – Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Well… Not really. I’ll probably have spoilers, but seriously, do you care? No, neither do I. Look, I love me some brainless violence. I really do. Shoot, you’re talking to the person who paid to see Mortal Kombat in the theater, three times! (I even bought both the regular soundtrack...
Thursday May 3, 2007
Spider-Man 3 – Spoiler Free Review Scott Dally
Ok where to begin with the review of Spider-Man 3*? Did I like it? Yeah sure, it was ok. Was it as good as Spider-Man 2? Hell no! Will the fan boys dig it? Well, that depends so let’s start there. I have reviewed all three Spider-Man films, and each...
Wednesday May 16, 2007
Shrek the Third – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
The Shrek films have a strange placement within the world of animated films. They don’t quite fit into the realm of animated classics like early Disney films, but nor are they the wholly forgettable flashes in the CGI pan, ala Hoodwinked or even Ice Age. The balancing act the Shrek...
Wednesday May 23, 2007
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End – NOT Spoiler (but Plot) Free Aaron Duran
It is a lovely spring morning in Portland… I’m standing outside the freakishly overpriced and under-cleaned Regal Cinema. I’m giving my legs a stretch, as I know that I have damn near 3 hours of sitting ahead of me. However, I have chosen this path… Until the day comes that...
Wednesday Jun 6, 2007
Knocked Up - Not Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Greetings Programs! Although not a "regular" GitC writer, Mailman Chris's joy and support of Knocked Up compelled me to post his review. Drop him a line at his MySpace account with your comments... Let him knows the joys of "you're an idiot, oh...first"! - AD I took my beloved bride...
Friday Jun 15, 2007
The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – Not Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Look, I might be a comic book snob, but I understand the distinction between a movie’s story arcs versus the established comic book history. I was never upset about organic webslingers in Raimi’s Spider-Man; it made sense within the film’s established world. As long as the filmmakers maintain the soul...
Sunday Jun 17, 2007
FF4 - Part Duex... The "Rebuttal Review" KaraokeFanboy
aka... "Three Men and an Invisible Lady" The mighty Marvel movie machine has risen to the occasion of another summer blockbuster weekend, and its third offering this year, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer integrates the best and the worst elements of this year's predecessors Ghost Rider and Spider-man...
Wednesday Jun 20, 2007
1408 – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Do not stay in Room 1408… Would that I followed Samuel L. Jackson’s advice. If I had, I wouldn’t be seeing ghostly images every time I close my eyes or walk into a dark room. Before I delve into more details, let me just get it out of the way...
Wednesday Jun 27, 2007
Live Free or Die Hard – Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Die Hard was the first “R” rated film I can remember my parents allowing me to watch. Sure, I’d seen a ton of “R” films before, but it involved a lot of sneaking around and watching late night HBO at my grandparent’s house with the volume at near zero levels....
Friday Jun 29, 2007
The Transformers – Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Well, as spoiler free as possible… I mean, come on, this is the friggen Transformers… How can I spoil a plot that hasn’t changed since 1983…? They come to Earth from space. Autobots are good. Decepticons are bad. They both change from vehicles to robots. They both need this bizarre...
Tuesday Jul 10, 2007
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – Spoiler Free Aaron Duran
Not soon after viewing the first Harry Potter film, I decided to view both the films and books as separate animals. As each novel grows and Rowling adds more side stories to Harry’s world, filmmakers must make choices that are more difficult. As long as filmmakers stay true to the...
Friday Jul 27, 2007
The Simpsons Movie – Spoiler Free Review Scott Dally
Why? Why did Matt Groening, James L. Brooks, et al… have to go and make a feature movie from their classic brainchild, The Simpsons? Are not the 18 seasons enough to sooth even the most casual fan? No? Well then go to the theatre and check out the big screen...
Tuesday Aug 7, 2007
Rush Hour 3 – “Spoiler” Free Review Aaron Duran
Why did I place quotations around the word spoiler? Um, because how can one not write a spoiler filled review about a Rush Hour movie? Seriously, this is a Rush Hour movie. That would be like trying to write a spoiler-free review of Beverly Hills Cop II… Same jokes, different...
Wednesday Oct 10, 2007
30 Days of Night – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
A few days ago, I was sitting in a room of my fellow Geeks and recorded a fan commentary for the classic James Cameron film, Aliens. During this recording, fellow nerd Fatboy stated that horror films only really work in a dark theatre, or home system that captures the theatre...
Thursday Nov 1, 2007
American Gangster - Spoiler Free Review Scott Dally
We’ve seen the story line before, cops and robbers, cop and drug lord, and when it’s done right (i.e. Michael Mann’s Heat) you forget the basic formula and are absorbed in the story. You find that you don’t take sides and you just get wrapped up in the story. You...
Wednesday Nov 7, 2007
Fred Claus – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Christmas is, without a doubt, one of my favorite holidays. It is right up there with Halloween. (I know those two don't seem to go hand-in-hand, unless you look into the whole "hey, lets get these Pagans into our religion by adding their cooler elements into ours"). Anyway, I love...
Tuesday Nov 20, 2007
The Mist – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
As the credits rolled, the second thought to enter my mind was a simple one. Are the Weinsteins going for the "Most Theatrical Bombs" record? Why that thought? I will get to that later. If that was my second thought, what was my first? That I shall reveal now. The...
Tuesday Dec 11, 2007
I Am Legend – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Long regarded as one of the more difficult stories to adapt to film, Will Smith’s newest outing is a pleasant surprise. Written by Richard Matheson, I Am Legend is a simple story, at least at its core: A lone human must survive in a world overrun with Vampires. However, like...
Monday Jan 14, 2008
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Review KaraokeFanboy
I know, not really a movie. However, until Geek in the City, 3rd Edition hits the web (Q1 2008, promise), this section will have to do. - AD Last night's (1/13/08) premiere of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles may have been a blockbuster broadcast event, certainly offering no viable connection...
Wednesday Jan 16, 2008
Cloverfield – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Monster movies are great fun. Not in a Star Wars or Indiana Jones way, nor in a Snakes on a Plane drunken way. No, monster movies are the kind of fun you used to have when you played He-Man versus the Transformers as a kid. Sadly, American cinema has lacked...
Friday Feb 1, 2008
George A. Romero’s: Diary of the Dead – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Some people claim the first sign of old age is poor memory. You how it goes, you walk into a room and can’t remember why you went in. Friends laugh and say things like "oh, you know what they say". Well, while my memory is as sharp as ever. However,...
Wednesday Apr 30, 2008
Iron Man - Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Not even May and there I am, watching the first film of the 2008 Summer Movie Season. A full two weeks earlier than summer 2007, if this trend keeps up I’ll be watching Spider-Man 4 during my birthday on February 27. Thankfully, unlike last summer, the 2008 blockbuster season starts...
Sunday May 18, 2008
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
Has it really almost been twenty years since Dr. Jones saved the world from the Nazis? Had my high school adventure just begun when Indiana Jones and crew rode off into the sunset? So many of my earliest cinematic adventures are tied to that whip wielding archaeologist. The first...
Sunday May 18, 2008
Extra-Spoilery Review - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Fatboy Roberts
Let’s give voice to the simmering snideness that’s been steaming under the surface for awhile now. Let the dam break and the vaguely bile-flavored observations rush to the fore: The movie starts as if Indiana Jones tripped and face-planted into American Graffiti. And then it starts again. And then again....
Tuesday Jun 10, 2008
The Incredible Hulk – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
At four different moments last night, someone asked me why Marvel was making a sequel to a rather drab movie. They were referring to Ang Lee’s vision of The Hulk, while a financial success, left many Hulk fans feeling burned. Ang Lee’s Hulk wasn’t the Hulk they grew up reading....
Tuesday Jun 17, 2008
Get Smart Spoiler Free Review Illusionaire
Think Hollywood has run out of original material? Remember, these are the people who love to dredge up past TV shows and turn them into full-length motion pictures, even if the subject matter isn’t appropriate to stretch into a story arc longer than 21 minutes. Think Beverly Hillbillies, Dukes of...
Thursday Jun 19, 2008
The Love Guru - Spoiler Free Review Scott Dally
Mike Myers is always trying to reinvent himself and to unleash new characters unto the world. It all started on “Saturday Night Live” and the creation of Wayne Campbell, the rockin’ co-host of the cable access show Wayne’s World, many other memorable characters we born during his SNL days. In...
Thursday Jun 26, 2008
Wall*E – Spoiler Free Review Scott Dally
Mark my words, fair readers, Wall*E will win an Academy Award; probably for animation…however this is a serious Best Picture contender. I try to avoid any Oscar talk in film reviews, but I must get it out of the way. Wall*E is not only my favorite film of this year...
Saturday Jul 5, 2008
Hancock - Spoiler Free Review Mailman Chris
Superhero Movie of the Summer??? Not quite yet. We all know that The Dark Knight doesn't come out until July 18th. But Hancock is out now and while we can't call it the event movie of the year, it definitely is in the medal round....
Wednesday Jul 9, 2008
Hellboy II: The Golden Army – Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
In the age of cute Disney pixies and cookie-baking Elves, it is easy to forget that old school fairy tales were friggen creepy and meant to teach us common folk a lesson. Well, Guillermo del Toro and Mike Mignola sure as hell didn’t forget, and they’ve got a good ‘ol...
Wednesday Jul 16, 2008
The Dark Knight - Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
How far are you willing to go to protect what you love? Will you cast aside your own morals and ethics if it makes the world a better place? Are you willing to live as an outcast, if it means others could walk the streets without fear. Would you turn...
Wednesday Jul 16, 2008
Another Look at The Dark Knight Fatboy Roberts
Batman Begins isn't a perfect film by a long shot. Sure, it resurrected the character on film from its consignment to a heap of guano and rubber nipples, but it over-reached a little here and there. Christian Bale's Batman voice was like scuffed baseball hitting the dirt in front of...
Thursday Jul 24, 2008
X-files: I Want To Believe - Spoiler Free Review Aaron Duran
I want to thank the legendary Clyde Lewis for providing a fantastic guest review. Really, who else but the master of Ground Zero Media to delve into the continuing adventures of Mulder and Scully – AD X-Files 2: Putting the Lie Back in Belief There have been so many journalists...
Thursday Jul 31, 2008
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor – Spoiler Filled Quasi Review! Aaron Duran
Before I delve into this quasi review for the third Mummy film, I should probably say a few things, so you may judge my rant accordingly. Thing the first, I have a strange fanboy love for Brendan Frasier. Don’t know why, but I just can’t make myself hate the guy,...
Friday Aug 15, 2008
Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Spoiler Free Scott Dally
I am going to spare everyone my Star Wars ranting and ravings; like any good geek I have my issues and yet there is still and always will be a certain place in my heart for that galaxy far, far away. That place in my heart has been renewed a...
Wednesday Aug 20, 2008
Deathrace – Spoiler Free Movie Review Aaron Duran
Paul W S Anderson and I have a strange relationship. We both know that deep down; he is a crappy director and an even worse writer. Then again, Anderson reminds me that he makes a living making movies and I do not. I then remind him that he willing made...
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