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Summer Movie Primer 101

With Iron Man striking gold (or, golden gallium-arsenide alloy) I find myself receiving a fair amount of emails and questions regarding the Golden Guardian of Marvel 616 (gonna’ keep calling it that until Quesada tells me not to…personally). Anyway, are you dating a Geek and you want to know just why the hell he or she is so damn excited? Are you tired of the dirty looks from dudes in too-tight "Han Shot First" shirts when you ask your partner why the Joker is so frightening. Do you have a desire to keep up with post film conversations over cigarette smoke and stale Chicken Strips? Just as you've been there for Geek in the City in the Best of the Willamette Week 2008 Poll, so too is Geek in the City there for you!

Here now is the 2008 Summer Movie Primer 101…

Iron Man (May 2) – Just in case you’re one of the 2% of America that didn’t catch this flick last weekend; or perhaps, you loved the film and want more iron adventures. Here are a couple of Iron Man stories you simply cannot pass up: Iron Man: Ten Rings to Rule Them All (Vol.1 issues 95 – 100). This is one of the best bang up Iron Man stories ever told! A framed Tony Stark is on the run from the United States Government and if that isn’t bad enough, he needs to fight off a Guardsman, Ultimo, and Sunfire. Plus, Tony learns that an old foe from his past is pulling all the strings. A flat-out old school comic book story, Ten Rings to Rule Them All also has something lacking in many modern comics; a solid ending! Next, give a look at Iron Man: Demon in the Bottle (Vol. 1 issues 120 – 128). This is the Tony Stark every Geek wanted to see in the new film. Assaulted from all sides, Tony Stark loses his armor, loses his company, and losses his battle against the bottle. If you can only read one story arc that reveals Tony’s inner character, it is Demon in a Bottle. Read it!

Speed Racer (May 9) – This one is a little tricky. In Japan, the show is called Mach GoGoGo and wasn’t geared towards a primary child audience. Like many Anime programs, Mach GoGoGo was a prime time series. When it came to Western shores, Mach GoGoGo became Speed Racer and some of the more mature themes were toned down. Still, the show was a tad edgy for 1967. Over time the original stories made their way into American hands and Speed Racer flew into the popular culture. If you want some background, just turn on Cartoon Network anytime after 9pm, chances are you’ll see it playing.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (May 16) – Well, this one is easy. Go read the book of the same damn name. I'm not gonna' do all your work for you. Trust me, the book is good and is an easy read. If you simply must have some mad knowledge to drop, just go around saying the following: "I'm just waiting until Voyage of the Dawn Treader! That movie is gonna’ pwn those lame ass Jack Sparrow movies"!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22) – Whew, were to begin. Okay, why are Geeks so nervous about this one? Simple, Harrison Ford is looking all kinds of old and we're not sure we can buy him swinging from his whip anymore. As for the bad guys, yup, he's competing against the Great Red Menace for the legendary Crystal Skull. Wait, Indy only fights Nazis! Well, not anymore. As I've written in the past, once you make a serious film with Nazis, you can't really go back to making them goose-stepping pulp fiction villains. Just can't. Also, why are we all excited about Marion and the dude named Mutt? Well, there is a good chance Marion is Mutt’s mom and Indy is poppa Jones. If you think Lucas and Spielberg are pulling this one out of their bums, pop in your copy of Raiders of the Lost Ark. (I refuse to call it Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark). Anyway, watch the scene where Indy and Marion first meet. She yells at him claiming, "I was a child, I was in love. It was wrong and you know it"! Most fanboys always thought that line was about some late night "special" digging and might have resulted in a wee one. Looks like the Geeks were right!

Sex and the City: The Movie (May 30) – Um, no clue. Head on over to Sarah X Dylan and ask her. She knows all things Carrie and her friends.

The Incredible Hulk (June 13) – First, this is not. I repeat. This is not a sequel to Ang Lee’s Hulk. Marvel Studios, not at all happy with one of their flagship characters asked the guy behind The Transporter and Unleashed to up the "umpf" factor. Then, Edward Norton "wrote" a new script and got to work. The trailer suggests this new Incredible Hulk follows the television series. Bruce Banner is on the run from the government and does his best to stay calm. If you want some true insight into the Hulk, give the following titles a read:

This might seem like a cop out, but any Hulk issue written by Peter David is Emerald Gold! Seriously, apart from Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, no one "got" the Hulk like Peter David. Most of David’s run on the Hulk is collected in various graphic novel or trade form. If you want a grittier and slightly fantastic slant to your Hulk, then you are in luck. Written by Greg Pak, Planet Hulk took the character into a bold and stunning new direction. Launched into space by his “friends”, Planet Hulk allowed the character to explore all new facets of his character. Finally collected in both a hardcover and soft cover trade, Planet Hulk is a story not to be missed!

Wanted (June 27) – Based on the Graphic Novel by Mark Miller. Don't read it. Don't! With all respect to Mr. Miller, this graphic novel is garbage and really is a slap in the face to the very people that sign his paycheck. I know some critics will claim the book is a post-postmodern Watchmen. They would be wrong and should stop laying praise on a book in an attempt to look smart. You don’t If you can’t help it, then go review The Dark Knight Strikes Again, at least you can claim Frank Miller fooled you. From what we’ve seen, the only thing Wanted, the film and Wanted the movie have in common is the title.

Hancock (July 2) –Original on film if not in concept. Hancock looks like a fun film and really, would it be a summer movie season without Will Smith? Still, if you want a brutally hilarious (while still emotional) take on the superhero genre, then boy do I have the book for you. The Pro written by Garth Ennis, penciled by Amanda Conner, with Jimmy Palmiotti inks. (Attention Mark Miller, this is how you write a satirical superhero book, without insulting the reader). The Pro is simply the most vulgar, hilarious, offensive, and wholly wonderful book ever created. The title gives away the basic idea. A prostitute wakes up one morning and finds herself "blessed" with Superman’esqu powers. However, don't think the book is simply a shallow attempt at potty humor in spandex. It is not. Just beneath the gross vulgarity and body violations lies a very human story of what it means to be a hero… With a sprinkling of golden showers and spiked dildos. (No, not joking).

Hellboy II: The Golden Arm (July 11) – Unlike the first Hellboy film, the Golden Army is an original story by Guillermo del Toro and Hellboy creator, Mike Mignola. Still, if you want some classic Hellboy tales to help you bone up on the character and world, there are still some must read stories. Box Full of Evil reveals much of Hellboy’s past and possible destiny. It also has one of the more brutal fights within the pages of Hellboy. In Strange Places, Hellboy does his best to thwart his own destiny as the bringer of apocalypse and instead spends 2 years under the sea. Trust me, good story. Finally, if you want more depth and understanding while watching Hellboy II: The Golden Army, you should also check out the myriad of B.R.P.D. (the fictional group that fights all forms of supernatural evil) books published by Dark Horse Comics.

The Dark Knight (July 18) – Where to begin? There have been so many tales that border on fantastic; it is hard to narrow it down to just one or two. (It should be noted that I might be the biggest Batman fanboy of all time, just FYI). However, Nolan’s "real world" approach to Batman does lend itself to a few Batman story arcs. Indeed, most Batman fans easily recognize elements within The Dark Knight. From Nolan’s own admission, The Dark Knight is borrows heavily from Jeff Loeb and Tim Sale's genius work; The Long Halloween. This 13-issue epic follows Batmans early career as he takes on the mob and the "freaks" begin their rise of terror and crime. The Long Halloween is beautifully written and illustrated, as well revealing the relationship between Batman, Harvey Dent, and Lt. Gordon. Although not related to The Dark Knight, you might as well pick up the equally fantastic follow-up to The Long Halloween, Dark Victory. If you ever wondered why the hell a dark and brooding vigilante would take in a bright and jubilant sidekick, you need to read Dark Victory. Finally, if you want to know why this Joker has Geeks the world over ecstatic, I've got a couple of books for you. First, pick up the newly re-colored masterpiece, The Killing Joke by Alan Moore and Brian Boland. Next, grab a copy of Arkham Asylum by Grant Morrison and Dave McKean. While not a pure Joker story, few books delve into his deepest psyche. Neither books are easy reads. Like the Joker, both force you to look into the deep alleys of your own soul.

That about does it for now. I know that only covers about half the summer season. However, there is only so much information a brain can hold, trust me I speak from experience. Still, these pop culture Cliff Notes should let you stand toe-to-toe with your average Geek. As always, if you need more information, drop me a line and I’ll do what I can. Also, thanks again for all your votes in the Best of the Willamette Week's Best of 2008 Poll. If you haven’t voted for your friendly neighborhood Geek, remember, a vote for Geek in the City is a vote for Natural 20s for all!

Vote now!

(Okay, so I can’t actually promise Natural 20s. Hell, if Hillary Clinton can talk about hunting trips with her grandfather while reading the bible and downing whiskey, I can promise good rolls)