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MOVIE CULTURE
You Knew This Was Coming… Aaron Duran
Not the untouched holy trilogy on DVD, but my inevitable rant on the release should the day ever come. Well my friends, the great flannelled one has spoken from the ivory walls of Marin County and decreed that the fans shall finally get to own official DVD copies of the untouched Star Wars Trilogy… No Jabba Palace dance number... No Jabba in docking bay 94... No young Anakin ghost... No shaved eyebrows... No Audrey 2 within the Pit of Carkoon... No armless Wampa... No friggen Greedo shooting first!!! All hail the gods of fandom!
Look... I am under no illusions that this was done out of love for the fans. I don’t care how many times Rick McCallum claims otherwise. This choice is purely financial... And, you know what?
I don’t care! See, we Geeks have been clamoring for this release since the creation of the DVD format. Lucas’ answer to the people who pay for his vast Empire? Suck it! Sadly…We Geeks did just that. We swore, "Never again will I give Lucas my money"... Only to be followed by, "Hey look, a new version in the theaters. Let me get in line"! After said viewing, we run home and hop online to the nerdy forum of our choice, sign on as SmoothLando45 and then scream that Lucas is again "*blanking* my childhood". (I’m no prude, but saying that phrase doesn’t seem appropriate). Well, Lucas has finally caved in... Sure, the decision comes from a purely greedy stance, but it still seems like a victory for the Geeks of the world.
Stop whining!
Although, Geeks wouldn’t be Geeks if we didn't still find something to complain again. Now, I am not speaking for myself. I’m as giddy as a drunken Ewok after an all night Wookie bender. Why? Because I haven’t bought the holy trilogy since 1997... This will be like a breath of fresh air to me... The true... The faithful... The un-suckered! I will proudly plop down my hard-earned Imperial Credits, go home, rip open the plastic dog bone, and listen to these films in the classic 2.0 grainy-ass Dolby!
The Force is with me...and ONLY me!
W00t!
Thursday May 4, 2006
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