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A Tale of Little Dudes.

That title is only going to make sense to people who are working on what is sure to be the rockn'est movie of all time… Bigger Than Jesus: The Diary of a Rock ‘n Roll Fan! I could tell you what that title means… but that would rob you of discovering the site all by yourself and that is something I couldn’t live with. With the shameless pimping out of the way, let us move on with the story.

It all began at Trader Joes…

Look, I love me Trader Joes, they have all kinds of yummy treats and contrary to the brainless yammering of hipsters in Northwest Portland it is not “ghetto”. The only problem I have with shopping at Trader Joes is the constant scent of Patchouli, but, if that’s the price I have to pay for decent frozen burritos, so be it. Anyway, with my head buried in the frozen food bins searching for said burritos I heard a young voice cracking not 10 feet down the isle from me.

“Follow me now and you will not regret
Leaving the life you led before we met
You are the first to have this love of mine
Forever with me ’till the end of time”

I turned my head towards the voice, curious as to who was singing a Black Sabbath song in hippie central. It was two boys, likely brothers. The oldest couldn’t have been older then 12 years old, while the younger brother barely was pushing 10. Each had a REAL rock shirt, and when I say real I mean one NOT purchased at Hot Topic and made to look “worn”. These shirts had real wear on them; these shirts were likely bought at a local thrift store. Trust me, I can tell… as can any true rock fan! Anyway, the 12 year old sported an Ozzy shirt, while his younger brother wore a ragged AC/DC shirt. I couldn’t help but smile, the older brother was at the age that he was just starting to discover which type of music he liked; he was slowly breaking away from the music he was forced to listen to by his parents. The younger brother, likely wanting to emulate his older sibling was simply along for the ride. Not noticing, nor caring the older brother continued to do his best Ozzy Osborne.

“Your love for me has just got to be real.
Before you know the way I’m going to feel.
I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel”

Coming up behind him, his mom pulled him aside and asked him to please stop signing so loud if he is going continue listening to “crap”. I remember scolding such as the one he was receiving whenever I was caught screaming out loud, doing my best Axl Rose. The younger brother, seeing his chance opened his mouth.

"Oh yeah!"

The mother looked at him and began pointing her finger at him as well. My smile grew even wider. But, it wasn’t the situation as such that made me smile. The real reason I was grinning so widely was my understanding as to why the mother was so offended and horrified by her sons singing. You see, this woman, who was likely in her mid forties had the rattiest of dreadlocks, well worn sandals, a wrinkled hemp dress, and a plain cotton shirt that read something akin to “one world, one love”. It hit me. Not wanting to be “one of those” parents, she likely allowed her kids to choose whatever music they wanted to listen to. I am also certain that she thought and hoped they would pick the same music she listened to… Images of her sons air jamming to the sounds of Phish. Her attempt to allow her kids to grow into their own backfired, terribly. Her sons had become metal dudes and they were damn proud of it!

Her younger son nodded absentmindedly and she went back to the chocolate soy ice cream bin. The older brother smiled… At the top of his lungs he belted:

"My name is Lucifer, please take my hand"!

The mom, embarrassed beyond thought ran back to her sons and demanded that they knock it off and that they knock it off right that instant! In her attempt to become the “cool” parent she has in fact turned into the mom she didn’t want to be… She had become the mom that didn’t get the music her kids listened to. Again the boy promised to behave and his mom went back to shopping. As she turned her back to him he stuck his tongue out…and did his best Gene Simmons. I couldn’t help but laugh. Thankfully, the mom didn’t hear my outburst as she was too busy yammering to herself, no doubt asking where she went wrong. The boys however did hear me. Looking at each other I made the only choice available to me. I gave a slight grin and the universal dude nod.

The little dudes grinned back… The little dudes nodded back…The younger brother pumped his fist to his chest… The older brother raised his arms, gave me the devil horns.

Rock on little dudes!