>> RANTS > FROM THE PEN OF THE MASTER GEEK

Man of Steel versus the Big Red Cheese…

See, I promised I would get back to the totally random posts of hardcore Geekiness… And really, how Geeky can you get than Superman versus Captain Marvel? The real Captain Marvel, not the freaky Star Child like guy over at the House of Ideas. (Speaking of which, when was the last time Marvel was known as the House of Ideas…hm, I kinda’ miss that name). Everyone knows the history and legacy of the Last Son of Krypton, in fact; I’m willing to bet the number of folks that know all about Superman is equal to the folks that know nothing about Captain Marvel… Well for the Shazam ignorant; let me give you a quick recap…

Young Billy Batson, a teenage runaway (or orphan, depending on which history you follow) runs into a subway tunnel one day to hide from bullies he just stood up against while protecting a younger child. Even though (or because of) his hard life, Billy has a pure and just soul that attracts the attention of an immortal wizard named… Shazam. This wizard has spent eons fighting the evils of this world all while keeping the original 7 Deadly Sins trapped within a mystical Rock of Ages. (Damn, they could make up origins in the Golden Age… All within a panel or two). Seeing the potential for a true hero to take up his mantle, the Wizard grants young Bill with the following powers…The wisdom of Solomon; the strength of Hercules; the stamina of Atlas; the power of Zeus; the courage of Achilles; and the speed of Mercury… All he needs to do is speak the name… Guess what it is? Zeee-Pow! With a crash of thunder and a bolt of lightning, young Billy Batson is transformed in Captain Marvel, the World’s Mightiest Mortal! Filled with gee-whiz naiveté only found in the golden age of comics, Captain Marvel would drop in and out of popularity over the years… However, Captain Marvel continues his struggle against all the evils of this big, bad world…

Round 1 – Media Saturation

Superman: I seriously doubt there is anywhere in the world, a person could go without someone knowing what that big red S on your chest means. In fact, in terms of worldwide sales, only Mickey Mouse has had greater media saturation… No other comic book character can claim as many television shows, radio dramas, books, song lyrics, movies, and comic exposure as The Man of Steel. But it wasn’t always the case…

Captain Marvel: There was a short period in the 1940s when it wasn’t all about Clark Kent and his alter ego. Indeed, back during the characters early Fawcett Comics days, he out sold the young upstart from Metropolis nearly 3 to 1. In fact, in the early to mid 1940s, Captain Marvel Adventures was the best selling comic book of the day. Sales were so strong; it prompted Republic Pictures to produce the world’s first superhero comic to film adaptation with Adventures of Captain Marvel. Alas, Captain Marvel faded from the popular culture in 1953 when DC successfully sued Fawcett Comics for copyright infringement… Captain Marvel faded into the night…

Winner: Superman

Round 2 – Powers

Superman: Flight. Speed. Near invulnerability. Heat vision. X-Ray vision. Microscopic vision. Super hearing. Super strength. Everyone knows what Superman can do. The Man of Steel has gone mano-a-mano against some of the toughest villains (and heroes) of the DC universe, and the occasional Doomsday not withstanding, he has emerged victorious each and every time. In fact, most opponents have no hope in defeating Kal-El unless they keep a Kryptonite ring in their pocket, Batman style… Well, almost no opponent… See, Superman has one more weakness that most casual fans don’t know about…

Captain Marvel: Flight. Speed. Near invulnerability. Super strength. Unlimited endurance. Magic. While Superman, on paper, packs more of a wallop in his superhero arsenal, he also has one shining weakness. Indeed, his weakness is the very source of Captain Marvel’s powers… Magic. Many fans complain that DC doesn’t need Captain Marvel, that he is, in essence, a carbon copy of Superman. Not true. Within the fantastic realm of superhero physics, Superman is the science-based hero. Sure, he has all these powers, but they are explainable through science. (Well, the science of comics at least). Captain Marvel lives within the realm of magic. His powers aren’t tied to a yellow sun or being an alien from another world. His powers come from the gods of old… As such, Superman has no real defense against Captain Marvel should the ‘ol Cheese wish to truly open up on the Man of Steel…

Winner: Shazam!

Round 3 – Villains

Superman: They say a hero is truly measured by the villains he faces. If this is the case, then poor Superman has a lot to measure up against. Being Superman is a lot like being the fastest gun in the west. Everyone and their evil twin brother comes gunning for you. Superman has literally faced them all. From the physically crushing Doomsday, to gods such as Darkseid, to the mentally cunning and devious Lex Luthor, and even fellow rouge Kryptonians. He has bested them all. Their desire for wanton death and destruction is only equaled by Superman’s desire for truth, justice, and the American way… And so, if heroes are defined by their villains, then Superman stands tallest.

Captain Marvel: Okay, this one I will give you… Poor Captain Marvel just can’t shake the cheesiness of his golden age villains. In fact, in his 60+ years of existence, Captain Marvel has only had two noteworthy opponents… His evil counterpart Black Adam (who isn’t always bad, just a tad zealous) and the really lame, Mister Mental. I know, Mister Mental was featured heavily in DC’s yearlong epic 52, but it took 60 years to make him an interesting villain. Indeed, it has only been in recent years that young Billy has had to face some powerful foes… Time will tell if his rouge gallery will ever rise to Superman caliber… Or hell, even Booster Gold caliber…

Winner: Superman.

Round 4 – Supporting Cast

Superman: The Man of Steel has a grip of folks getting his back. Although, for being the Last Son of Krypton a whole lot of them come from that same doomed planet… Supergirl, Power Girl, Krypto… Okay, so technically, he is the “last son”, but you get the point. Superman can also call upon the members of the Justice League should he ever truly get in over his head. (Though half the time it is his own damn fault and Batman tells him to pound it… Then secretly saves his Kryptonian butt). As Clark Kent, he also has all the fine folks at the Daily Planet at his side. However, for all his superhero support, none of Superman’s supporting cast has any real variety… They are all pretty much clones of him, which makes sense since, you know… All from Krypton.

Captain Marvel: Then again, Captain Marvel shares a similar position as the Man of Steel. Hell, his cast of teammates is even named the Marvel Family. Although culled from the insanely large cast of the 1940s and 50s, Captain Marvel still has Captain Marvel, Jr. and Mary Marvel at his side. However, in the retconned world of comics, Captain Marvel also has the combined might of DC’s older superhero team: the Justice Society of America to heed his call. That is some serious firepower to lay down the almighty smack down should he need it… Remember, these are the folks that busted up evil robotic Nazi Entscheidender Soldat! Still, Captain Marvel’s direct allies aren’t all that dissimilar that Superman’s… Then again, Mary Marvel is way hotter than Supergirl. Period. End of Story.

Winner: Shazam!

What? You actually thought I was going to have a clear-cut winner in this wonky fanboy rant. Ha! You should have known better. If I had to pick on a personal level… Your friendly neighborhood Geek would have to run with Captain Marvel! I know, shocking… Well, not really. Look, I love Superman. His status as a worldwide icon is unapproachable. In fact, I’ve got the John Williams score blaring in my headphones as I type this and feeling chills up my spine when that French Horn hits. Still, there is something about Captain Marvel that appeals to me at a deeper level. Superman isn’t one of “us”. Young Billy Batson is; he is the innocent little kid who looked into the skies and wished for something greater… He wished to make a difference and with the uttering of one simple word, he does. In terms of pure heroic storytelling… Captain Marvel is the Whiz-Bang hero I want at my side…

Wouldn’t you?

Shazam!