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>> RANTS >
FROM THE PEN OF THE MASTER GEEK
Match the Transformer… Aaron Duran
What? The site is called Geek in the City. Did you actually expect me to write something of social importance? If so, you though wrong… Oh. So. Wrong. Besides, with the greatest of all 80s cartoons set to make a massive return to the big screen in 2007 by way of Michael Bay; I feel I need to do my Geek duty and write pop culture witticisms about the Robots in Disguise. And so, with no further ado… I present to you, the fine GitC readers…
Match the Politician with the Transformers!* (Insert cheer).
Megatron – The one time head of the Cybertron Defense Force**, Megatron grew tired of constant calls of diplomacy from Optimus Prime. Megatron would rather go in blasting, with little care for planning or strategy. What Megatron lacks in subtly, he makes up for in raw savagery. This leader of the Decepticons is ruthless and lacks any form of compassion towards damn near anything and anyone. Although he has taken many forms over the eras, he will forever be known as the transforming handgun.
A) Dick Cheney
B) Hillary Clinton
C) Donald Rumsfeld
D) Joe Lieberman
Starscream – Voiced by Cobra Commander, Starscream is the highly intelligent and deviously conniving second-in-command of the Decepticons. Again, while Starscream has taken many forms over the years, Starscream will be forever loved as the red and black jet fighter. Was it not for his double-crossing and un-trusting ways (not to mention his massive cowardice), it is likely that Starscream would rule the Decepticons.
A) Dick Cheney
B) Hillary Clinton
C) Donald Rumsfeld
D) Joe Lieberman
Shockwave – When civil war sent the Autobots and Decepticons crashing into Earth, this cyclopean Decepticon was left behind and ruled Cybertron with an iron gun/fist. Not terribly charismatic, Shockwave is coldly logical and has no problem making deals with both enemy and ally if it means he can continue to tyrannically rule the Transformers. Shockwave takes the form of a non-shrinking laser pistol. The first Transformer to require batteries, Shockwave’s little glowing laser tip often failed and required repair.
A) Dick Cheney
B) Hillary Clinton
C) Donald Rumsfeld
D) Joe Lieberman
Bumblebee – Ah Bumblebee, the puckish little Transformer that could. One of the most entertaining, if wholly useless member of the Autobots. Bumblebee was often used as comic relief by his allies and a bright yellow targets by his enemies. His reputation did not improve once he visited Macco and earned the new name of Goldbug… One can only hope that his evolution into a bright yellow Camero in the new Transformer movie will stop us old school Geeks from comparing him to a Penny Racer.
A) Dick Cheney
B) Hillary Clinton
C) Donald Rumsfeld
D) Joe Lieberman
Hit the GitC Forum later tonight for the “real” answers… Feel free to comment or make up your own wacky comparisons.
* Dang, this may have been one of the most useless write-ups I have ever done and that is saying something!
** I am using the original television series as my source material… So, no one give me any grief about me messing up the extremely convoluted chronology of the Transformers… Especially you, Jayesunn…
Thursday July 13, 2006
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