>> RANTS > FROM THE PEN OF THE MASTER GEEK

Random Rural Reflections

As my few remaining friends begin the slow trek out of Susanville and momma Geek giving the thought of leaving her forest home some serious consideration; my time visiting said town is growing shorter and shorter. No longer will I have to answer the same question I get every single time I enter seat of Lassen County, "Ya mov’n back? Portland life get to be too fast fer ya"? Um, no, not so much... Really, Portland could never get so bad that I would think about moving back to that backwards town. I will miss my yearly feast at the world’s greatest Chinese food restaurant, which is shockingly on Main Street in Susanville. That did get me thinking though; it is easy to complain about life in these here rural United States, even more so when you are someone who truly enjoys life in a city. (Before you folks start with the hate mail, I have nothing against small towns or the few normal people who live in them. Just not for me, that’s all). Anyway, I thought I would try and ramble on about the few good things from my hometown that I may actually miss:

[Insert crickets]

Okay, if I wanted to cop-out yet again I would just end this little ramble-fest here and go back to playing Resident Evil 4 on my Playstation. (It is so embarrassing when a video game makes me jump twice in 5 minutes).

As I stated above, I am going to miss the flat out greatest Chinese food restaurant in the world. don't ask me why, but there simply isn't anything better. If there is, please drop me a line and tell me, as I am constantly on the lookout for great Chinese food.

Susanville, thanks to a lack of visions and planning now has a plethora of closed buildings that would make excellent filming locations. Moreover, with more and more locations closing, it just keeps getting better and better. Not only does the town have a shut down medical incineration plant that still works, but it now also has a closed hospital and retirement home that time hasn't touched in darn near 50 years. The above list can be added to buildings that have been closed since I was a wee Geek in rural California: Abandoned mills, rundown pioneer era schools, empty gold mines, ironclad frontier jailhouses. For all my bitterness towards that town, I do have a desire to return someday with the intention of filming a solid and wholly disturbing horror movie using locations that simply scream to be brought to life. It would be nice for Susanville to make the news for something other then yet another prison opening or a football coach shoving his player’s heads through a locker...

Come to think of it, that really is the only thing about Susanville that isn't terrible. Locations potential is also, why the town annoys me so much. Nothing but lost potential.

There are always possibilities however, as proved by a kid in camouflaged jacket proved to me my second day back home. As I sat and waited for the hell that is shopping at Wal-Mart to end my phone rang. My Imperial March ring tone filled the shrine of cheap consumerism. As I reached for my phone the little dude in his hunting gear walked by me and I heard him say in the lowest of voices, "What is thy bidding, my master"?

Sweet.