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The Year of Bill

2004 will go down as an interesting year, but many many lightyears from now, when historians look back they will wonder why 2004 wasn't named "Year of Shatner". I must admit that I have an unhealthly obsession for Bill. I've read the man's books -- not just the TekWar series but also his Star Trek memoirs. I've watched every frame of Shatner I could find, from the Kingdom of the Spiders to his 1965 horror film Incubus, the only movie ever made in Esperanto.

And then there is his 1968 spoken-word album The Transformed Man, a veritable Rura Pente of campiness famous for Bill's howling and unhinged versions of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds and Mr. Tambourine Man. I'd forgive you for mocking me if I said that I was excited about the release of Shatner's new album, Has Been. But you don't know the Captain like I know the Captain. The single -- Common People, is just cool. Featuring Joe Jackson on vocals -- it's brilliant. It's getting good reviews and is quickly becoming a novelty hit. Has Been, released earlier last month, caps the year of Shatner.

Last month the 73-year-old actor won an Emmy for his performance as Denny Crane on the TV drama The Practice. Shatner stars in a new series, Boston Legal, which airs Sundays. I stay up to watch despite having job searches to perform. Next summer, Shatner will reprise his role as slimy pageant host Stan Fields in Miss Congeniality II -- absolutely no one does slimy better then Bill. And God help me, I'm gonna' watch that bad boy.

It's been confirmed that Capt. Kirk -- who,as everyone knows, died on Veridian III, will make a cameo on UPN's highly regarded, though wholly unwatchable series Enterprise. And, let us not forget that he has been on the cover of TV guide more then any other mortal in history. Shatner has script projects and book projects and documentaries and video games and paintball wars, not to mention his own production company.

Bill has never lost the eye of the Tiger. Shatner is a relentless worker and a fearless artist, willing to try anything -- books, music, video games. He is the greatest Candian of all time, Avril Lavine can eat it.

How did Shatner get so hip?

Cause he's Bill F'ing Shatner, that's why!