>> RANTS > FROM THE PEN OF THE MASTER GEEK

You Won’t Ruin My Childhood!

It may come as a surprise to you fine readers that your friendly neighborhood Geek doesn't read a whole lot of fantasy books. I love the genre, but I tend to get my fix through funky polyhedral dice and little pewter figures. In fact, I think I can count on one hand the amount of fantasy series' (as they are never just one book) that left a strong impression upon my memory. Oddly enough, three of the five fantasy series that I vastly enjoy can be considered "children’s literature"... The Chronicles of Narnia, The Chronicles of Prydain, and yes, the Harry Potter books. Only The Lord of the Rings and The Saga of Fire and Ice hold a place of honor within my adult mind as fantasy series' of remembrance. (I know there are a ton of quality adult fantasy books out there, and I've tried, I really have, they just don't grab me... I can't explain why). I think fantasy novels have to create a sense of awe within my imagination and for some reason the books aimed at a younger audience seem to capture that spark with greater frequency. Course, it is that very sense of awe that makes me wish I could see the characters and settings spring from my own imagination onto the silver screen. Peter Jackson did it, three times in fact.

But can Disney?

They already tried once and, arguably, failed miserably. The Black Cauldron is the definite black sheep of the Disney animated films and while The Black Cauldron isn't the point of this little ramble, I do feel like it deserves some defending. It was produced during an era where Disney’s animation house was all but shut down. It was the first animated Disney film that was not going to have any songs. It was the first animated Disney film to show real character peril, pain, blood, and even death (Bambi doesn't count, you never see his mom die). As such, it also became the first (and I think to date only) animated Disney film to be rated PG out of the gate. It also tanked in every measurable sense for Disney. In fact, it tanked so badly that they all but tried to wipe the film from existence, going so far as to not even acknowledge the film existed for close to 15 years. I even remember taking a tour of Disney’s once Burbank based animation studio, asking about the film and being told that "we don't mention that film here". Thankfully, Disney has since recanted that outlook and released the film onto glorious DVD. While it didn't receive the normal animated classic treatment, at least they admit to making it. (Cause once you make Peter Pan II, everything else is fried gold). However, Disney’s The Black Cauldron did expose me to the works of Lloyd Alexander and The Prydain Chronicles. In a way, a terrible film adaptation opened a door to a wonderful fantasy world that I may have never discovered on my own.

Disney gets to try again with another beloved childhood series.

I know a fair number of Geeks who were not too excited to learn that Disney would be producing the celluloid version of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I will admit that I was one of the early doomsayers. I ranted and raved that Disney was going to destroy yet another beloved childhood memory. Then I read that the gifted Kiwi’s at Weta would be behind all the production design and I saw that they would be giving the same care, love, and attention to detail they gave to The Lord of the Rings. In a way, it seemed fitting that the two seminal works of two English authors who were both colleagues and friends were being taken care of by the same company. Okay, so I knew it would at least look pretty and I could expect some cool weapon replicas that I can never afford to be sold at Excalibur. The addition of Andrew Adamson as the director met my childhood expectations with mixed feelings. I like the Shrek films, but I wasn't sure this guy would have the directing chops to pull off such an epic tale filled with so many fantastical images. Then again, Peter Jackson didn't actually scream box-office appeal when New Line Cinema took the mother of all gambles on him and his motley crew of filmmakers. Maybe sometimes it is better to bring on a director who is hungry and really wants to prove him or herself on a film they feel passionate about, and after watching some interviews with Andrew Adamson, he is most definitely passionate about fairy tales and the Narnia Chronicles in particular. He is also a tad bit nervous and has some trepidation about the movie. He appears to understand all too well the place the CS Lewis books have on western popular and literary culture. While a director should never question every thematic decision he or she makes, a bit of concern helps keep you humble and hungry.

But, it is still a Disney flick!

You know, there was a time when having the name Disney attached to a film meant it was going to be something of quality. Something that you would look forward to, something you and your friends and family wanted to watch. Does anyone remember when it wasn't cool to pick on Disney? Do you remember ever not rolling your eyes when you read that Disney was adapting something to film? I can't remember the exact time either, although I do know that it was soon after the film branch of Disney was literally saved by The Little Mermaid. Actually, it wasn't the films that did it, even the ones that were of lesser quality. It was the marketing and consumer machine that made us all start to loathe Disney. Disney stopped being a place that created these magical images and instead turned into a place for you to buy a limited and numbered edition of a plush Winnie the Pooh figurine. In fact, I am willing to bet you can chart the growth of the Disney Stores across this great land going hand-in-hand with the anti-Disney movement. Many of us are simply programmed into hating anything with the Disney label on it anymore. Disney has become synonymous with mass marketed crap aimed at families with 2.5 sugar pumped, media-saturated kids. As such, we Geeks just don't trust Disney with our much beloved childhood epics. We are certain Disney will churn out yet another in a long line of poorly made films designed to sell Happy Meals and crappy Oscar safe soundtracks. We just know that Disney will get everything wrong.

Disney will ruin our childhood!

We Geeks love to make that statement, often at the top of our lungs and at the most socially inappropriate moment... Course, when have Geeks ever been known as the most social of people? I will admit to making that statement many, many times in my life. Although, it is usually prefaced with " Lucas is ruining my childhood". I will also admit that I was one of the chief ranters when I learned that Disney would be producing the film version of my beloved Narnia Chronicles. These were the books that got me through a very boring winter in rural California when nary a childhood friend lived nearby. How dare you Disney! How dare you take something so near and dear to my heart and turn it into a chance to raise your 4th quarter profits! You greedy mouse-eared buggers... You are going to ruin my childhood! But, you know what? They can't. There is nothing Disney or Andrew Adamson can do to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe that could make me enjoy the books any less. In fact, if the movie is a complete waste of film (of which I sincerely hope it is not), my love for the tales of CS Lewis will only increase. My memories of journeying to the lands of Narnia helped make me who I am today and nothing can take that away. Nothing. Not even the mighty Disney has the power to do so.

My childhood will be fine.

In fact, I am so certain my childhood as well as all my childhood memories will remain intact after watching The Chronicles of Narnia that I intend on being there on opening night, hopefully at midnight. Actually, that is not entirely true. The almost 30 Geek in the City will not be there. No, the 8 year-old wee Geek who read the books while huddled by the soothing winter fire will be there. His eyes and imagination will be just as wide-eyed and wonder-filled as they ever could be. The Geek in the City may nit pick the film in the following days, but the night doesn't belong to him. Opening night belongs to my childhood.

He will watch that movie and love every minute of it.